Phillip's Story

My whole life, I have felt like an outcast. Through elementary and middle school, I struggled to make friends, and when I did manage to start a friendship, it was nearly impossible for me to maintain it. I was severely depressed from 5th grade on. I struggled with self-harm from 7th grade on. When I got to high school, I thought I had found a group of friends in the drama program. I felt accepted and cared about until about January of my Sophomore year (2020) when I went into the theatre and overheard the entirety of the drama program talking about how much they didn’t like me and how much of a burden I was. In my home life, I had a very difficult time maintaining a relationship with my father due to him being a law enforcement officer and, therefore, having a rigid and black-and-white view of rules and policies. I struggled with my relationship with my mother because I used her as a whipping post for venting all of my anger, frustration, and pent-up feelings. I also treated my sister awfully. I was almost never in class at school due to being unable to manage my ADHD and the insane amount of stress I had about the workload that I was expected to manage in a public high school. On top of those, I was juggling clinical depression and a lack of interpersonal relationships that could help me feel accepted and loved. When schools closed down in early 2020, I went down a very bad path due to being physically isolated as well as the emotional and social isolation I had felt before. In August of 2020, I was arrested for breaking laws that resulted in felony convictions, and 100% of the time, the charged person was found guilty. I should have gone to prison for a very long time. Even though I was only 16, I would have been charged as an adult due to the nature of the crimes. Fortunately, I was offered a very rare option: be charged with the felony or go to and complete a program for the specific charge that I was arrested for, and all charges would be dropped.
As I was only 16, my parents were the ones who made the decision for me. I was going to go to a program in Utah. A week after I was arrested, my parents sent my sister to live with my grandparents until I left. In September 2020, my parents and I loaded up and set off to go from California to Utah. The following day, we arrived at my program. I was terrified. I had no clue what to expect and had never been away from home as long as I was going to be. When I arrived, there were 16 other students in the house located in the middle of nowhere. The nearest town was a 15-minute drive away. There was a staff on shift who, for the purpose of anonymity we will call James. James immediately welcomed me and started to talk to me. He is one of the two staff I credit with influencing me to change my ways and, subsequently my life. Over the next 3 months, I held on to the belief that I was perfect and that I shouldn’t be in the program. I continued to blame my parents for my being there and everyone else for all of the problems I had. About 3 months in, James sat me down, and we had a conversation. It helped open my eyes to the true problems I had and what I needed to do to have a successful life, along with making amends for everything I had done. From that moment forward, I decided to work on myself and be the best person I could. Eleven months after that conversation, I graduated from the program. I then moved to another program on November 30th, 2021. I had solved the specific issue that I had gone to my first program for, but I had also become institutionalized. (Overly dependent on the structure and routine of a mental health institution) My second program was supposed to help me transition to being independent and having the social, financial, and emotional skills to survive on my own.
The second program I went to was structured with multiple different houses that you would move through as you made progress in the program. I started at the Young Adult Residential House, where you start the programming and learn basic social skills. I also started my senior year at the program’s private school. By this time, I had been in a program for over a year and knew which strategies of self-improvement worked for me and which didn’t. At this house, I also started at a technical college to learn how to weld. I moved to the next house in two months and 20 days when the average time it takes to move out of the Young Adult Residential house is about one year. The next house I went to was a Transitional Living House where you start to learn the skills necessary to live on your own. You have more independence and create your own daily schedule. I was also able to get a job and start working part-time while completing my senior year. I also continued going to the technical college and continued to improve my welding skills. This is where I met the second staff that I credited with influencing me to change my life for the better. In May of 2022 I graduated High School and earned a diploma. Shortly after I graduated, my funding for the program ran out. The plan was for me to go to Job Corp and continue my welding journey. I really did not want to go. I liked the path I was on and did not want to disrupt it or have any setbacks. One day, one of the owners/founders of the program sat me down and asked me what I wanted. I told him that I really liked it there, but my funding was running out, so I would have to move out. He asked again: “Brodie, what do YOU want.” I told him that I desperately wanted to stay and continue through the program until I was able to move out onto my own. I also expressed concern that if I went to Job Corp, I would be stuck and wouldn’t know how to start my own independent life. He then did something that would forever change my life. He offered me a deal. He said that if I kept my job and paid the program $500 a month in rent (A fraction of the tuition), I could continue to live and go through the program like any other student. The only stipulation was I had to pay the rent. My parents could not. I had to sustain a job and fund my way through. I was so grateful to him for taking money directly out of his pocket just for the sake of the possibility of helping one student. On my 18th birthday, about four months after I arrived at the Transitional Living House, I moved to the Advanced Transitional Living Apartments. Here, you are almost completely independent, and staff are available to help if you need them. I moved through this program in about 2 months. As I was about to move out, I was presented with another opportunity. I could live on campus at one of the houses that the administration and therapists used for offices for the same price of rent so I had somewhere affordable to live when I first got out on my own. I met a girl shortly after I moved into that house who is now my wife. I moved in with her after about a year of living on campus after moving out of the Advanced Transitional Living Apartments. About a year after I moved in with my now wife, I called the owner of the program, who offered me the opportunity, and asked him if it would be ok if I applied to work at the program because it had been so influential and beneficial for me. I had a job 8 hours later.
As I sit here writing this I am reflecting on how lucky and grateful I am for the opportunity these specialized programs presented in my life. Without them, my life would have been on a completely different path. Instead, groups of amazing people within these programs helped me in the darkest times of my life. Instead of jail, tonight I have just got home from college, where I am earning a degree to be a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. My supportive, amazing wife and my nearly one-year-old son are in the room with me. And because of the opportunities these two programs provided me, I am able to watch my son run around the house and discover the world. I would have none of these things if it were not for the men and women who care so much about people and the programs that changed my life. Thank you for taking the time to hear my story. I hope this can give you a new perspective on the benefit these programs can have.